Ways to Resolve Conflict

14 Jan

Everyday we deal with people.  Whether it is at home, church, work, or business, we all interact with people at some point.  Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to interact with them more efficiently? People are amazing, but with so many different personalities, upbringings, character and integrity levels, people can be pretty complicated as well.

Since becoming involved with Life Leadership and starting my Leadership and personal development journey 10 years ago, I have read many books and acquired a lot of information on the topic of conflict resolution.  This information has helped me in so many areas of my life and I am so grateful for the information.  It has helped me resolve conflicts in my business, with my wife, with friends, with family, and everyone else I may have a conflict with.

When dealing with people in times of conflict there are many ways in handling it the right way.  Steven Covey says, “Seek first to understand.”  When in a conflict situation, you want to gain a clear perspective of the problem and ask questions before jumping to conclusions.  Often our first reaction is the wrong reaction, so seeking to understand the root of the conflict will help to reduce overreacting.

Some questions you can ask yourself before jumping to conclusions are:

  1. Am I being overly sensitive?
  2. Have I obtained sufficient facts?
  3. Is it first hand information or passed through the rumor mill?
  4. Does this offence actually violate scriptural teaching or does it just conflict with my own opinions and perceptions?
  5.  Am I responding negatively because of a previous offence?

With these questions in mind our hearts will be open to a clear understanding of the situation.  Too often we jump to conclusions, offer opinions, and write people off too quickly and don’t bother to give them an opportunity to explain themselves.

When someone comes to you with third-party information and it needs to be resolved and addressed, a great way to start that difficult conversation is to say ”I’ve heard this, I’m not sure if you heard the same things and I was just wondering what your perspective on it was.”

If someone was hurt by something you said, it doesn’t mean what you said was wrong, sometimes the truth hurts. However, they’re entitled to their opinion. So as a person of character and integrity, regardless of what was said and how it was taken, your intentions were not to hurt that person, so a way to approach that conversation could be: “I am really sorry about the situation how can I make it better.”  Remember to attack the problem not the person.  Even though your intentions were not to hurt the person, you did and that needs to be resolved.  It’s not about who is right and who is wrong.

I’ve heard my mentor Claude Hamilton ask, ”Do you want to be right or do you want to be rich?”

Relationships are key, they are what life is all about.  Your entire world revolves around healthy relationships.  As John Maxwell says: “Great leaders understand that their team is only as strong as its weakest link. And healthy, nurtured relationships are key in making your team operate as a well-oiled machine.”  Protect your relationships by increasing your conflict resolution skills.  When dealing with people, conflict is inevitable but you are responsible for how you deal with it.  The results of your conflict are up to you.

God bless,



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23 Responses to Ways to Resolve Conflict

  1. Phil Wall

    January 14, 2014 at 11:11 pm

    Yes absolutely in resolving conflict Steven Covey’s statement of “Seek first to understand.” is very powerful.

  2. Danny Campbell

    January 14, 2014 at 11:37 pm

    Thank you Wayne. That is an awesome post and truly what I need to here tonight. Thanks again.

    Ps my highlight of 2013 was to talk to you when you came to Waverly NS last April, and also giving my son your autograph at the May seminar.

  3. Aage Smies

    January 14, 2014 at 11:50 pm

    Great post Wayne, and impeccable timing! Each of your blogs seems to hit in the right place and right time. I appreciate your guidance, experience, leadership and friendship and look forward to an outstanding year!

  4. Carrianne

    January 15, 2014 at 12:00 am

    Wayne, great blog! Love the awesome message our Life Material has to offer! Conflict Resolution is such a huge difference maker! Thank you for blessing our lives with your mentorship, friendship and wisdom.

    • Wayne MacNamara

      January 15, 2014 at 5:28 pm

      I love our material and our live events, we have so many great cds and books on leadership topics that can change so many peoples lives. Thx for following and commenting on my blog. Keep leading

  5. Wade Hamblin

    January 15, 2014 at 12:17 am

    Fantastic insight to resolving conflict! Thank you for sharing your wisdom!

    • Wayne MacNamara

      January 15, 2014 at 5:26 pm

      Thx pal, By developing ourselves we can be a shinning example to many others on whats possible with LIFE leadership products. Thx for following and commenting.

  6. Barry Bauman

    January 15, 2014 at 12:22 am

    Wow Wayne,
    Those are great words of truth that I will keep in my drawer of helps in a time of conflict resolution.
    Thank you for your mentoring through the written page,fantastic!!
    About changing lives

    • Wayne MacNamara

      January 15, 2014 at 5:24 pm

      We have a chance to infleunce many many people in a positive way with our LIFE leadership materials Barry. Thanks for following my blog and posting comments. I appreciate it

  7. Tracey

    January 15, 2014 at 2:44 am

    Great information Wayne. Conflict resolution is so important in so many situations. Especially in leadership. Thanks so much for leading from the front!!

  8. Melanie Gingrich

    January 15, 2014 at 6:30 am

    Wayne, your blog posts are incredible! You have such wisdom to share. I have learned so much from the life materials we have. And as for conflict resolution, I am still learning to want to resolve conflict. Thanks for sharing on this topic.

    • Wayne MacNamara

      January 15, 2014 at 5:23 pm

      thanks for taking the time to read my blog posts and to also comment. I Appreciate it.

  9. kim ansty

    January 15, 2014 at 7:30 am

    Those suggestions are great. I know in the past and before starting my LIFE journey I have made some of those mistakes you noted. Isn’t it amazing how reading can help you in all areas of your life? Thanks for the great advice!

    • Wayne MacNamara

      January 15, 2014 at 5:22 pm

      Reading in my opinion is one of the most undervalued asset someone can develope. Read deeply from great books that help improve ourselves daily.

  10. Scott Staley

    January 15, 2014 at 11:10 am

    Great blog Wayne. I love your perspective – dealing with people can has it challenges – but also many blessings. Thank you for all your help in teaching this,a nd in modeling these principles throughout your associations with others.

    • Wayne MacNamara

      January 15, 2014 at 5:20 pm

      Apprec you on this leadership journey pal.

  11. chad waters

    January 15, 2014 at 10:28 pm

    Hi Wayne,

    Great topic and awesome blog! This is something that’s key in any business and one of the hardest thing to do and learn right. Life paves a path of learning for everyone who want to strive forward.

    God Bless

  12. Fraser

    January 17, 2014 at 11:15 pm

    Sooooo many conflicts could be stopped quickly if people would just rundown last list quickly. Thanks for the reminder bud

  13. Darcy & Tobi Bennett

    January 22, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    Thanks for the tips, Wayne! A friend told us the other day that one of the most valuable things they ever learned from their involvement in Life was not to take things personally…and this literally changed his life and relatioinship! Great article!

  14. Roger & Marie-Germaine Sealy

    February 4, 2014 at 3:54 pm

    Fantastic post! Great job Wayne!

  15. Mirick Grant

    February 8, 2014 at 11:46 am

    Does the conflict violate scriptural teachings? Big question to remove our personal preferences out of the way. Thanks Wayne.

  16. Marianne Keller

    February 15, 2014 at 10:52 am

    Great article Wayne! Conflict resolution is such an important skill to have and needed in developing relationships at home with friends or at work.
    Thanks for sharing your insights. I love the material life leadership has to offer on this subject

  17. Marianne Keller

    February 15, 2014 at 11:02 am

    Great post Wayne thanks for sharing your insights.
    Conflict resolution is something we all need to develop if we want to improve and build relationships with our families friends and co workers.

    I love the material that Life leadership has to offer it can make such a big difference on how we deal with conflict and help us build stronger relationship

    Marianne Keller


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