Understanding Each Other

18 Jan

Have you ever wondered why your spouse can never remember where they parked the car, or why your child will organize all of their toys just right and get upset if anyone touches them?  Without proper understanding of the four basic personality types, these things can seem extremely foreign and unnatural.  In order to understand people; the way they talk, act, work, and even have fun, a basic understanding of personality traits is fundamental.

There are four basic personality types that are concerned with where one draws their energy (internally or externally) and what motivates a person (tasks or people).  The traits are broken up as follows;


For a detailed explanation of the four types I would recommend two books; Personality Plus by Florence Littauer and Positive Personality Profiles by Dr. Robert Rohm.  While these two authors use different title to describe the different personalities, their definitions are very similar.

Let me use professional life as an example of how the different personalities operate:

Popular Sanguine volunteer for everything even if they don’t know how to do it.  They think up new activities, are creative and colourful, and look great on the surface.  They are full of energy and enthusiasm, they inspire others to grow and charm others to work.  Professions where a popular sanguine would thrive are actors, comedians, and politicians.

Perfect Melancholy is very schedule oriented.  They are perfectionists with high standards and are very detail conscious.  They love order and an organized work environment that is neat and tidy.  They will see the problems and think of creative solutions, always needing to finish what they start.  They love charts, graphs, figures and lists.  Becoming an accountant, attorney, scientist, or pilot would be a perfect fit for perfect melancholy.

Powerful Choleric are people who see the whole picture, are goal oriented and seek practical solutions.  They move quickly into action, delegates work, and insists on production.  These people thrive in the face of a goal, deadline or opposition.  Excellent career choices for powerful choleric are police officers, navy seals, and umpires/referees.

Peaceful Phlegmatic is competent and steady.  they are peaceful, agreeable, and has great administrative ability.  they meditate on problems, avoid conflict and are excellent under pressure.  Jobs suitable for peaceful phlegmatic are hostage negotiators, personal support workers, relationship counsellor, and bomb defusers.

Each personality type has amazing strengths as I have noted.  There are professions that are more suited towards people with specific personality traits, and the world needs people like them.  A sanguine may not be suited to be an accountant or an actuary, just as a phlegmatic would probably not make the most effect border patrol officer.  These are jobs we need, and I am thankful that there are people out there with the personality traits that fit them so they can be filled by people competent in those areas.  I’m not saying that someone couldn’t do a job that their personality traits were not complementary to, however they may find it uncomfortable and unfulfilling, and most likely have a career change in mind.

Another great example for explaining the differences between each personality type is their expectations on time matters. A choleric is easy on themselves, but hard on other people.  Even if they are late to an event or a meeting they would just consider everyone else lucky they even showed up.  But if someone was late to an appointment they had arranged and was important to them, they would not be understanding.  Sanguines are easy on themselves and easy on others.  They aren’t even really sure why they are going to most appointments, they probably lost track of time, and if you showed up late to a meeting they would be just as happy to see you.  Phlegmatic are hard on themselves and easy on others.  A phlegmatic would never want to be late because it would bring attention to themselves or make someone else upset, and if you showed up late they would understand any reason for your tardiness.  A melancholy is hard on themselves and hard on others.  They run on a schedule and wouldn’t miss an appointment, and if you were late to a meeting with them they would be annoyed that you disrupted their schedule for the day.

You can probably start to sort out who in your life has what tendencies.  Your spouse who forgets where they parked the car probably has some sanguine traits.  Your child who organizes their toys probably has some melancholy tendencies.  As you look into the four personality profiles more you will start to understand those around you better, and become better at interacting with them and understanding their methods of communication.

As with anything, there are positive and negative elements to each of the four profiles, so I will leave you with a message to each;

Choleric, look up!  You may be able to destroy the world, but remember, you didn’t create it.

Sanguine, button up!  Tell one less story every time you talk.  Yes, all these people will miss out on your amazing story, but they will appreciate you listening to them.

Melancholy, lighten up!  Nobody is perfect, we don’t expect you to be perfect, so please give us some grace too.

Phlegmatic, get up! a body in motion tends to stay in motion.  It’s great to rest but you truly feel better about yourself when you are accomplishing a task.


God Bless,



47 Responses to Understanding Each Other

  1. Scott Staley

    January 18, 2014 at 10:29 pm

    Great blog! I wish I’d have had this information as I started out in life!

    Thanks for leading from the front.

  2. Michele Lewis

    January 18, 2014 at 10:34 pm

    Thanks for the post Wayne. This information is so helpful in helping us to understand ourselves, but more importantly to help us in our interactions with others. I’ve got Personality Plus on my reading list for 2014!

  3. Aage Smies

    January 18, 2014 at 10:35 pm

    Wow, Wayne what a great blog. I loved this talk too!! If we could all use the knowledge of personalities to enhance our personal and professional lives, there would be an amazing shift in how well we treat each other. Take care and keep the blogs coming.

  4. Patrick Clowater

    January 18, 2014 at 10:47 pm

    Great post Wayne. This book on personalities was probably the most impactful book that I have ever read. It has helped me understand my family bettern my friends better and most of all my business associates better. I also was able to understand myself better and realize that I was created this way for a reason and not to try to be like someone else that has a totally different personality traits. It’s an amazing book and something you can use every day of your life!

  5. Tracey

    January 18, 2014 at 10:49 pm

    Thanks for another awesome article, Wayne! This is a great summation of the four personality traits. Reading these books is such a huge help in any profession, as we are in contact with people every day. Learning the different traits will certainly help us within any relationship. Thanks to both you and Raylene, and the rest of our leaders for such helpful leadership information!

  6. kim ansty

    January 18, 2014 at 10:49 pm

    I never grow tired of learning about the personalties. You laid them out so perfectly with enough detail and examples in your post to give a super overview. I hope others have been inspired to read the related books. They certainly have helped with understanding my spouse and kids better. Thanks for sharing wayne.

  7. Rick Britton

    January 18, 2014 at 10:52 pm

    Fired up Wayne! Those books are so amazing! Personality plus has help me in my family and in my marriage to understand that they are different from me and its alot easier to resolve issues with them when you know what temperment they are :)

    Awesome blog Wayne thanks for sharing i look forward to your next blog!!!

  8. Eva Knelsen

    January 18, 2014 at 10:55 pm

    Great blog, Wayne! I love learning about the different personalities! It’s especially helpful when you’re a family of 6:)

  9. Matt Carter

    January 18, 2014 at 10:59 pm

    Thanks for another awesome blog Wayne. Knowing and understanding the 4 personality types is crucial for a wholesome relationship with anyone, especially your spouse. I’m glad I met you and was introduced to this great knowledge. Understanding yourself is the first key to self improvement!

  10. Barry Bauman

    January 18, 2014 at 11:01 pm

    Hi Wayne,
    I sure enjoy reading personality plus for it opens an avenue of understanding the people in my life.
    This understanding has deepened the relationships I have for it allows me to act appropriately to each personality type.
    Thanks for the condensed chart to better understand the people groups.
    About Changing Lives

  11. Aaron Knelsen

    January 18, 2014 at 11:04 pm

    Great post buddy. It makes so much sense. Knowing how and why people (including myself) act is so important to getting along with people that might not be you personality. Look up, button up, listen up, & get up! Thanks for the awesome read!

  12. Kody Ellis

    January 18, 2014 at 11:07 pm

    Amazing post Wayne!!! It keeps getting better week in and week out! The personality traits is a great way to understand people.

    Kody Ellis

  13. Carrianne Hall

    January 18, 2014 at 11:14 pm

    Great Blog Wayne! This is a powerful message and looking forward to this teaching being on a cd!

  14. David Smale

    January 18, 2014 at 11:14 pm

    Create post Wayne. Getting to know the personalities is a big help in dealing with spouces, other people and is just fun figuring out yourself.

  15. chad waters

    January 18, 2014 at 11:49 pm

    Hey Wayne!

    Great topic! Personalities are one thing everyone needs to learn from business to romance it can change your world! The main thing is never use yours as an excuse for sure! Learn them, know them and adjust to them to improve every aspect of your life!

    God Bless!
    See you soon!

  16. Kathryn kunkel

    January 19, 2014 at 12:10 am

    Definitely enjoyed reading Personality Plus! Knowing the personalities really helped with understanding friends, co-workers, bosses, and family. It was helpful to realize some of the strengths and weaknesses I had, that I never really recognized before.
    Awesome blog Wayne!

  17. Eli Gingrich

    January 19, 2014 at 9:06 am

    Great post Wayne, learning about my personality has helped alot.

    God bless, Eli

  18. Joseph keller

    January 19, 2014 at 9:19 am

    Fantastic blog Wayne this book is a must read for all and I wish I was introduced to it much earlier. I can’t wait to read personality plus for children also with now having a little grandson since personality plus was such a blessing for us adults.
    Great blog looking forward to the next

  19. Wade Hamblin

    January 19, 2014 at 9:57 am

    Thanks for another great post Wayne!! The books you mentioned is so crtical in everything we do. Life is about relationships and if we don’t know why people do the things they do we will never be able to have great relationships, or a great life!

  20. Jeff Mayville

    January 19, 2014 at 10:18 am

    I never thought of my son as a bomb Defuser! Lol. He definitely has the patience for that.

    You have a great way of explaining personality traits.

    Nice to hear your thoughts!
    Say hi to Ray from Deb and myself.

  21. Rico Goncalves

    January 19, 2014 at 10:19 am

    Great job Wayne.
    Time and time again you show us that just reading a book isn’t enough but, taking that book and really studying it and applying it in our everyday life is what matters the most. Understanding what everyone’s personality is and how to deal with them? Who would have thought.
    Can’t wait for your next study Wayne!!!

  22. Stu Hall

    January 19, 2014 at 11:11 am

    Awesome post Wayne. Like many, I wish I would of had this information years ago. Life and relationships get so much better and easier, if you “get” the person you’re with. Another great post.

  23. Phil Wall

    January 19, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    Loved the post. Some fantastic points and some great reminders. The last four humorous points…..hahaha excellent and very enlightening.

  24. Dave Begley

    January 19, 2014 at 12:50 pm

    Wow another great eye opener . Wayne thanks so much for taking the time out of your day to write these life changing blogs . The information you provide and the insights you share help in so many ways .


  25. Jamie Jewer

    January 19, 2014 at 2:11 pm

    Personalities has always been an interest of mine. I like how your article brought both the DiSC and Florence Littauer’s models together in a summary.

    Understanding others is a key skill in having strong and effective relationships in all areas of life.

    Thanks for shining some light on this topic.

  26. Rob Duxbury

    January 19, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    Hey Wayne,

    Great article about personalities. I can not stop learning about this. It is so helpful in every walk of life. Especially in my marriage. Thanks so much and keep the good work up! You rock!

  27. Lee Weishar

    January 20, 2014 at 6:33 am

    Great Post! Everyone needs to know this stuff!

    I have fun explaining this concept to almost everyone I talk to, just going through how it improved my relationships with my managers and directors at work get’s them wanting to read personality plus!

  28. John Lewis

    January 20, 2014 at 9:26 am

    Very informative and entertaining article, Wayne! Communication is a key part of great relationships and after reading this, we can all understand ourselves and others even better to help us communicate even more effectively.

    Thanks for sharing this.

  29. Marie Troli

    January 20, 2014 at 2:45 pm

    I love this stuff. My husband and I are are forever talking about personalities with people and trying to get them to read the book. Now I can send them her. Your summary is awesome.


  30. Scott Morrison

    January 20, 2014 at 6:00 pm

    Awesome insights Wayne! Personality Plus is an incredible book and its helped me to understand myself and others so much better! We have also loved Personality Plus for Children! This information in priceless when it can improve lives as much as it does.

  31. Krista Debus

    January 20, 2014 at 6:03 pm

    Love this blog Wayne. The books you mentioned are amazing. This information can help all of us in our everyday lives. I love how we can learn more about others and ourselves through the different personalities. Thanks again Wayne.

  32. Elma Plant

    January 20, 2014 at 6:16 pm

    Great blog. I found Personality Plus a helpful read. I am a true choleric and needed the reality check this book gave me. It seems that perhaps maybe I may not always be right! Shocking but sometimes true :-) I appreciate how clearly you have summarized the different personalities. Very helpful.

  33. Blair Carrens

    January 20, 2014 at 6:53 pm

    Wayne, I’m actually sanguine and I noticed your graph. A meloncholy is green and a phlegmatic is yellow….. I learned the personalities from colors:) take care thanks for the chart…..

  34. Rhys Plant

    January 20, 2014 at 9:42 pm

    Man, I love this post. Knowing the personality types is something that I wish they had taught is in elementary school! It is invaluable information and makes relationships so much more enjoyable!

  35. George Pringle

    January 21, 2014 at 12:42 am

    Fantastic blog Wayne. What a amazing book and your short explanation of the personalities was a great read. This makes you to go out and read the whole book again. Thank you for being a great student and amazing leadership.

  36. Lindy Fowler

    January 21, 2014 at 7:51 am

    Awesome Blog Wayne!! This is a fantastic post with enough detail in a shorter version of explaining an incrediable tool to help everyone understand (at the very least have a better handle) ourselves and those around us. A couple of books everyone should take the opportunity to read every year! Thank-you for all you do! Looking forward to your next post :)

  37. Linda Sovey

    January 21, 2014 at 10:14 am

    I think this is my favourite blog so far Wayne. I love this book and I use it everyday in my work. I have used this philosophy as a Counsellor for over 30 years.

    This book, along with our teachings has brought some of my family members very close together and I am praying that over the next few years, it will bring us all together.

    Keep up the great work, I am proud to be a small part of such a wonderful organization.

  38. Scott Seeley

    January 21, 2014 at 10:41 pm

    Great post Wayne,

    We always enjoy your blog posts. The information you shared here is amazing! Thanks for all you guys do and keep up the great work

  39. Roman Ostapiak

    January 22, 2014 at 2:50 pm

    The information you shared on your blog has prevented many potential arguments last year. Probably saved our marriage over the past 2 years.
    Its taken comments that would have created hostile responses to being comical. I realize that my spouse is not doing things to annoy me but is being herself. The person I fell in love with.

  40. LP Theriault

    January 22, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    Understanding the personality of individual you are interacting with is the key to building great relationship. Neglecting these traits are the best way to not build one.

  41. Darcy & Tobi Bennett

    January 22, 2014 at 8:07 pm

    That’s great, Wayne! Thanks for the tips that remind us not only how important it is to understand our temperament, but also how we can strive to get better in all areas no matter what our personality is…

  42. Gerry Auger

    January 23, 2014 at 9:52 pm

    Great Blog Wayne!
    So if I get the point…when I start looking for typos and grammatical constructs in a blog, I would be demonstrating Melancholic tendencies! (The spell check told me I spelled Melancolic wrong so I looked it up and fixed it! Can you see my mistake!
    Point taken! I needed this information and certainly will seek to extend the grace you recommend to others!
    God Bless my friend!
    Lead On!

  43. mike mitchell

    January 23, 2014 at 9:59 pm

    Great blog Wayne. Also wish I would have had this kind of insight sooner in life. God Bless

  44. Jami-Lee VanEvery

    January 23, 2014 at 11:04 pm

    Learning the different personalities has helped me interact with others on a new level of understanding. I recommend everyone to read this book. Personally this book has helped me to understand myself and others and has strengthened my relationships. Very blessed. Thank you.

  45. Andy Roberts

    January 24, 2014 at 9:55 am

    You are amazing, Wayne. In my 30 year+ career as an engineer, I never thought that I would be learning from “the production line”! It just shows that God’s ways are not my ways! I may be very intelligent, talented and successful in the 95% world, but you and Raylene are so wise! I will be listening to you with all my mind and heart when you come to talk to us in February!

  46. Dan Dery

    January 25, 2014 at 12:06 am

    Fantastic read Wayne!
    As new as this information is to me it has already helped me understand certain relationships. We can be more graceful when we better understand others. As their are strengths in each personality, and all people are at least one of them, it seems to me that I should strive be both functionable
    and relatable in all 4!
    Thankyou for the insights and your leadership,
    Blessings Wayne :)

  47. Moshe Deutsch

    January 29, 2014 at 11:30 am

    Thanks Wayne this is an awesome post so easy to read, and clear to understand.

    God bless


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